Different “Tools” for Different Seasons
This first picture was taken before the new year. I was feeling great, energetic, excited to start a new workout program with brand new workout gear.
And then one morning, my life changed.
I woke up with extreme pain on my side as if I had a pulled muscle. I had to immediately stop working out and soon had to start calling and visiting doctors.
Little did I know that it would take 6 months to realize my battle with cancer from 12 years ago would come to rear its ugly head. This time it wasn’t cancer that was the issue, it was the effects from radiated skin, a tumor marker poking through my skin and causing an infection that would not go away even after 12 rounds of antibiotics.
Yes, 12.
I’ve had 2 surgeries; 1 to remove my implant and the other to remove the entire breast capsule along with attached muscle. I’m in now for the 3rd surgery to literally channel my back muscle to the front chest cavity in order to have some healthy tissue there to absorb fluids and fight infection. That surgery takes place tomorrow.
The second picture is me with a “tool” that I desperately needed in the early morning hours....a box of tissues. I’m sad. I’m worn out. I’m missing my family and days/weeks with my daughter before she heads off to college. I’m missing hearing Lance practice his guitar for worship. And I’m missing all the dad jokes that Pat randomly spurts out throughout the day. 😏😔
I’m a little scared of anesthesia and I’m scared of the pain I will feel afterwards.
The doctor came in to change bandages and assess the site and told me not to look down. He said it will look shocking and messy to me but to him it looks good and is in great condition for surgery. I chose to take his advice and not look down.
That makes me cry. That makes me so so so sad that one part of my body that God created to make me a woman is so messy right now that I’m advised to not look at it. 😭 But I’ve seen pictures of “after” surgeries and it does look like God will allow me this opportunity to restore what’s been literally destroyed. DESTROYED! The surgeon even said this will make the breast area more healthy than it’s been since this all began in 2009 because the cancer is gone, radiated skin is gone, and now the infection is gone. And the new tissue will have fresh blood flow to kill any potential infections that try to come back. And I will have new skin there to replace the old radiated sickly skin.
The blood flow will defeat the enemy of infection. The blood flow will bring new life. The blood flow will bring health to this area that the devil attacked and I SHALL PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE GOOD THINGS HE HAS DONE!
I may cry and sit in my own sort of lament now, but there will be a day when I will rejoice in the progress and restoration.
I love this verse below that lists out all the kinds of locusts that stole, devoured, and destroyed. I like to think that I could replace those “locusts” in this verse with cancer, chemo, radiation, surgeries, and infections.
Joel 2:25 I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm
Though I am sad, I know the Lord is not done yet. Weeping lasts for a night but rejoicing surely does come in the morning!
Micah 7:8 Do not gloat over me my enemy; though I have fallen I will yet rise again.
🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤🤍
