Implant Removal: The Reality is Sinking In

I have been battling a breast infection for 5 months. The skin on my right breast was radiated 12 years ago because of cancerous tumors and this infection was causing my skin to get redder and redder…. angrier and angrier. Something had to be done.

After 18 total visits to primary care doctors, ER rooms, urgent cares, oncologists, nurse practitioners, infectious disease doctors, and plastic surgeons…. WE FINALLY got a doctor to realize the severity of the infection going on inside of my right breast.

It was red, warm to the touch, swollen, and had the feeling that the implant was going to burst through my skin. But on the other hand, there was no fever and no issues with my white blood cell count. I’m assuming that is the big thing that threw the doctors off. I don’t quite know for sure.

This past Sunday I practically ran up to the altar for prayer and just collapsed on the shoulder of one of the elders at my church. She just held me as I cried out, “Debbie, I need help. I just need help.” She prayed that I would find the right doctor and that this problem would be resolved…this week. She prayed that I would be able to get the implant out and that I would be able to just release it all.

When I got home, my husband Pat and I had a long discussion about what was really going on with me mentally and emotionally. I was at a breaking point….exhausted and worn out because no one had answers or solutions to my ongoing agony. I cried harder than I have cried in years. I was truly an emotional wreck.

I woke up Monday morning knowing I had to make calls to doctors and surgeons to practically beg to be seen ASAP. Appointments were being made for weeks out and I was once again so frustrated. I finally got the attention and compassion of a nurse who got me an appointment. She talked to the doctor and the doctor actually called me to tell me that I should be going to another clinic for diagnosis, but he decided to go ahead and see me that same day.

Once I got in the office, the doctor took pictures and showed them to his supervising doctor/surgeon and that surgeon immediately saw that I needed the implant out immediately. He couldn’t believe that no one had caught this sooner.

He said that the fact that I had been prescribed 6 antibiotics and the redness just kept coming back was because of a film that was around the implant making it a breeding place for the infection to slowly come back time and time again. There was no tear in the implant, but the shell of it was deteriorating and that was where the infection kept growing back.

He offered 2 options. He said I could be admitted and do a surgery where I would go under general anesthesia or I could take a Xanax and local anesthesia and have it taken out in the office. (In other words, I would be awake for the whole thing.) I chose to get it out ASAP in the office.

I will admit, I wasn’t expecting it to be quite as involved as it was. I thought it would be a cut and be pulled out with forceps and then sewn back up easy peasy. Ummm….it was a little more involved because he had to clean the area where the implant was located after he got it out. I couldn’t feel pain, but I sure could feel pressure and discomfort as he worked. He cleaned it, washed it, sucked all the liquid out, and then rolled the angry, sore, red skin up and stitched it closed. I was so tense on the table and oh so thankful when it was over. I’m so thankful to have that part behind me.

Now I’m home and managing pain with Tylenol, Advil, and an occasional Oxycodone.

I feel thankful that this doctor/surgeon took care of me and saw the urgency to end this ongoing nightmare. I know he was an answer to Debbie’s prayer. Nonetheless, I still feel a bit traumatized by it all. I literally had such a hard time functioning after it was over.

Now it’s 24 hours later and I sit outside of my shower so afraid to undress and get in. I’m not ready to see what the area looks like. It’s been really difficult to look at myself in the mirror with clothes on with one breast gone and a drain hanging from the side. I just don’t know how I can bare seeing all of the red, angry skin rolled up and stitched. I honestly feel nauseous thinking about it.

This is part of my womanhood…the breast that fed my children; that gave comfort to my young kids when they needed the healthy and comforting embrace of their mom. And of course I’ve lost the girlish figure that attracted my husband years ago. My family loves me no matter what I look like…I know that. But the God-given, nurturing part of me has been taken away. It’s gone. And in a couple of months the other will most likely be gone as well.

It’s too much sometimes to think about too deeply. I have to focus on thankfulness and count my blessings because they truly outweigh the hardships we go through in life. Life is indeed hard. But we get through it one day at a time…. always trying our best to stay focused on Him. This body and this life is not all there is. All things will be made new for all eternity and that should give us all some hope.